42 Years in Property Management… You Really Can’t Make This Shit Up!

Confessions of a Property Manager: Where Truth Is Sometimes Stranger Than Fiction

Hi, I’m Kim, and I’ve been managing all kinds of properties for 42 years! OMGosh. Just typing that makes me sound older than I want to admit.

For 25 of those years, I owned my own property management company. About 10 years ago, I sold the business to the people I work for today. I started out managing investment properties—everything from single-family homes to apartment complexes with more than 600 units. Eventually, I shifted my focus to condominium and homeowner associations and built a business I was incredibly proud of.

And somewhere along the way, I accumulated a LOT of stories.

For years and years, I’ve joked that I should write a book about property management because some of the situations I’ve encountered are almost impossible to believe.

In fact, we named the book before I ever wrote a single page:

“You Can’t Make This Shit Up!”

It became a running joke. Something completely ridiculous would happen and I’d say, “That’s a page for the book.”

Eventually, even my board members started doing it. Something happens at a meeting, someone looks at me and says, “Kim, that needs to go in the book.”

They’re usually right.

My only regret is that I didn’t start writing these things down 42 years ago. I’m sure I’ve forgotten more stories than I’ll ever remember—but trust me, there are still plenty left!

And now, instead of writing the book, I thought…

Why not start with a blog?

Some of these stories will make you laugh. Some will leave you shaking your head. Some you probably won’t believe. And every once in a while, one might actually help another property manager who finds themselves thinking, “What in the world am I supposed to do with THIS?”

But I can promise you one thing:

Every story will be true.

I won’t use real names because this isn’t really about the individual person. It’s about the situation—and after 42 years, I’ve learned that no matter what property you manage, certain personalities seem to show up again and again.

So, naturally, we need a cast of characters.

The Board President who has an opinion about everything? Of course her name is Karen.

The homeowner who thinks every rule was written specifically to ruin his life? Meet Chad.

The resident who reports everybody else while quietly breaking three rules herself?

That would be Debbie.

You get the idea.

My hope is that we have some fun here. Maybe you’ll laugh. Maybe you’ll learn something. Maybe you’ll recognize someone you know. And every once in a while, you may read a story and think: There is NO WAY that actually happened.

Oh, it happened.

Remember the name of the book that never got written?

You Can’t Make This Shit Up!

Welcome to the blog. I have a feeling we’re going to have some fun.

And I’d love to hear from you along the way—especially my fellow property managers. Tell me what made you laugh, what surprised you, and what made you say, “Yep. Been there!”

Now I just have to decide which page from the book to tell you about first…